Play along at Wednesday Weirdness

1. Would you rather join the Ghostbusters to hunt ghosts or join the Sesame Street bunch? Why?
Ghostbusters o’course… can shoot proton guns on Sesame street

2. What is the most you are willing to do to get out of a police officer giving you a ticket?
Um… cry? I’d offer to have sex with them… but that’d just get me in more trouble

3. What popular movies do you find to be overrated?
Spiderman 3, 99% of “box office hits”, spoof movies

4. What is in (and/or on) your bedside table?
Computer, Coffee cup, Alarm clock, ash tray, Mountain Dew Amp (my breakfast), and um… other things…

5. Have you ever had or fantasized about having sex with a boss before? Have you ever acted on that fantasy?
No… but theres a few girls at work I’d totally strike out with

6. If you had a personal assistant, what would you have them do?
Type for me… its basically the only thing keeping me from finishing a story, I get tired of typing

7. Have you ever faked static, loss of cell phone reception or anything else on the telephone line to get out of a conversation?
Nope… I don’t get many, if any phone calls… I can waste them…

Wednesday Weirdness 20 and 1

Wednesday Weirdness

1.) If you caught your partner viewing porn online and masturbating, how would you react? I guess we’re playing pretend here…. IF I had a significant other,and caught her checking out porn I wouldn’t be all that upset… I might even think it was kinda rad, as long as, of course, she wasn’t substituting porn for time that she could be spending with me.

2.) If you caught your partner participating in a sex chat room online, how would you react? Megh… pretty much the same as above… as long as she kept it as just chatting.

3.) Did your parents know when you became sexually active? How did they find out? Um… sexually… ACTIVE?!?!? People have sex now?!

4.) How open were/are your parents about sex? Not very… they never even gave me “the talk” so I figure it was something they refused to talk about…

5.) When was the last time you had a splinter? What part of your body was it stuck in? A long, long time ago…. I think it was in my knuckle… and it was a metal splinter… double ouchies…

6.) If you could only bring back ONE extinct animal, what would it be and why? The tasmanian tiger wolf… those things were rad… but if I could make one animal, which is not extinct, more common, I’d have an abundance of yeti crabs!!

TMI Tuesday #151

1. Describe the perfect date for YOURSELF… what you would enjoy most. Personally… I’d just enjoy a date in general…. But I’d enjoy it more if I knew the girl I dated was having a great time…. Amusement parks and concerts seem like a good idea

2. Do you lean more toward being submissive or dominant? Sex or relationship-wise? In my first relationship I was probably more submissive, I was always going out of my way to talk to my GF at the time (Yeah, she’d never talk to me in public), maybe thats being dominant, I dunno… I guess I’m somewhere in between

3. What do you usually wear to bed? Depends on how warm it is…. if its warm, I’ll sleep naked (quit screaming) if its cold I turn into an eskimo, wearing sweat pants, and a hoodie 3 sizes too big for me

4. Have you ever seen a counselor? Not in that “I’m going crazy kinda way” just a school counselor for advice on what to do post-HS. Mr Garman was the “counselor”. He’d sit behind his desk, I’d sit in front of it and his nose would still be 2 inches from my face.

5. Lights on or off? On please… but if you mean during sex, is there a way to have them on for me and off for the poor soul dumb enough to have sex with me? Don’t need to scare her off…

Bonus (as in optional): Bonus: Have you or a partner ever faked an orgasm? I can honestly say that no one I ever had sex with ever faked an orgasm… so I have that going for me at least.

Wednesday Weirdness 19

Check out my answers, and don’t forget to play along jerk-bags

1.) Someone dares you to eat two cooked bulls testicles for 1,500 dollars. They’re fried, topped with nacho cheese, belly button lint, lima beans, sweat rung out from a dirty sock and maple syrup and you have to eat it all. Are you going to eat it for the cash or pass? Is the nacho cheese warm? That would play a serious role in whether I’d do it or not…. and I’d need a beer to wash it down with… then I might… I think I could buy $500 worth of mouthwash and tums and forget about the whole ordeal…

2.) If you were not getting enough sex in your relationship, how would you handle it? Would you cheat on your significant other? Nah, I wouldn’t cheat… I don’t see a lack of sex as a serious reason to mess up a relationship, as in my non-relationshipness I’m not having sex, and not caring about it very much… But if for some reason it was a problem, I’d break up with the girl in question before I’d even think of cheating…

3.) Would you cheat if you knew you would never be caught? Why or why not? Neigh… no point to it… I have good self-control (not a masturbation joke) and besides, I’d still know, and knowing that I cheated would drive me crazy and I’d probably confess to my GF before I even got my pants back on….

4.) If you could get rid of any of the late night talk show hosts and replace them with anyone you want, what late night persona would you get rid of and who would you replace them with? David Letterman… I never really liked him… I don’t know why, just never had… Conan is by far the best of the main five…. Then Leno, then the British guy, then Kimmel…. wait… scratch that… get rid of Carson Daly… who the hell gave him another show? His writing staff makes unfunny jokes that Carson can’t deliver…. Give his show to Shandi Finnessey…. hell, a 300 pound blob of whale fat would do a better job than carson…

5.) If you could get rid of one day time talk show, which one would you pick and why? I don’t watch day time talk shows… the only thing close to a talk show that I like is Attack of the Show…. thats an early evening talk show…

6.) Where is your favorite places on the body to be kissed? Favorite places to kiss? You say that like I’ve been kissed or kiss a lot… Lips… I figure thats always a safe (allbeit boring) bet….

7.) Do you watch porn? How does your significant other feel about that? I am SOless, so I’m sure she doesn’t care either way, but yeah, I watch (or look at pics of) porn…. I don’t own any porn movies I don’t think… wait…. I do… but they are the uber cheese 80’s porn…. more funny than sexy…. I probably wouldn’t need much, if any porn while in a relationship…

TMI Tuesday: Buck-Fitty

1. When was the last time someone hit on you? What went down? Wait… The last time? I’m still waiting for the first time… I’m missing the part of my brain that tells me that a girl is hitting on me, or flirting with me… So it could actually happen all the time… But damned if I knew… there are two most recent ones that I kinda figured out later that it happened
In person ~ It was while I lived in Indiana (if it wasn’t with Rebecca (wishful thinking maybe) It was with an asain girl that was 2 or 3 years ahead of me in High School and happened to go to IUP while I was living there. She was basically telling me how much of a slut she was (worded differently)… I have a huge thing for asian girls (minus Tila Tequila, that dwarf, taiwanese lady boy hooker) so I probably sounded like a dork at the time… but its better than blurting out “Gosh golly gee, I’d love to have intercourse with your vagina!”
Online ~ Maybe Nicole (very wishful thinking) but if I’m totally misreading everything she says (very possible) then it was probably that lesbian from PoF… Yeah, a lesbian wanted to date me, not sure if thats good or bad… I’m either so manly that i can attract lesbians, or so not manly that lesbians are like “megh, close enough”… either way, dating a lesbian is a ton of pressure for a guy… Lesbians and chubby chicks apparently love me… I could be the worlds most accomplished fat chick thriller ever, if I wanted to…

2. If you were single and could be with any one person, who would it be (thinking singer/actor or someone famous here, but whatever)? Cristina Scabbia, no question about it… I’d be in an ever-lasting orgasm with Cristina Scabbia… like one of those gobstoppers… but you know, a gobstopper with my penis in Cristina’s vajunk… you know what, nevermind the gobstopper… don’t need an ever lasting ball of sugar stealing my glory… A gobstopper would totally last longer in Scabbia’s vagoose than I would… In fact… I’d pass out due to unstoppable orgasmic pleasure by just being within 30 feet of her vajoojoo… Cristina Scabbia or Shandi Finnessey… and/or Vikki Blows… can they make all three in one? With like, stem cells or something?

3. Have you ever had done anything sexual in your office or your place of employment? My place of employment is rather crowded all the time, due to different shifts and break times… So theres no way to do it… Not that I hate my coworkers enough to want to make them suffer due to seeing my nudity… I keep my nudity under wraps… also, finding a willing partner would also be a rather difficult part… or most difficult part…

4. Do you apologize when you make a mistake? How do you react when someone calls you out? Yeah… I have no problem swollowing my pride… but I like being smarter than I look (and act at times)… throws people off… it makes for good timse… whoops, typo… see… I admitted my mistake and reacted reasonably…. You’re welcome…

5. Top or bottom? I wear both shirts and pants… You, again, are welcome…

Bonus (as in optional): Bonus: How old were you when you first had a willing sexual experience? Um… anything sexual? If we’re talking masturbation, then like, 12… if we’re talking about with a partner that new what she was getting herself into, then, I think I was 16 (hand job) or 17…. again, I have no idea how to tell if a girl is into me, (I don’t get things like that) so I’m sure i missed a few opportunities…