TMI Tuesday #160

Play along at TMI Tuesday

1. Ever been skinny dipping?
No…. i look bad enough naked alone after shrinkage takes effect

2. How often do you kiss or make out without it simply being a foreplay activity?
Haven’t even gotten close in the last seven years

3. On a scale of 1-10, how content are you with your life? (1 is lowest, 10 is highest) Do you think ‘content’ and ‘happy’ the same thing?
1.5… I know it could be worse, but not much… content is just a lower level of happiness

4. What do you do to relieve stress?
play with my dog, write

5. What was the special trait in your first lover that made you decide that they were “the one?”
lol… as sad as it sounds: she talked to me

Bonus: How old were you when you first had sex? (positive experiences here…)
I’m positive i haven’t experienced it yet

TMI Tuesday #158

Play along at TMI Tuesday

1. Who and when was your first crush?
I think it was Rachel in 3rd or 4th grade

2. Who and when was your first date?
I’ve never really been on a “Date”

3. Who and when was your first kiss?
Trisha, I was like… 16, 17ish

4. Who and when was your first partner while “fooling around” in car?
I’ll let ya know when/if it happens

5. Who and when was your first partner while “fooling around” in a house?
if by fool around you mean have sex, hasn’t happened yet (viirgin)… but i have made out with Trisha, again 16-17ish

6. Who and when was your first love?
Difficult question…. normally I’d say Trisha… but then, I’ve had crushes that I’ve felt stronger about… can I pass?

Bonus: Who’s blog did you first comment on?
I have no idea…

Wednesday Weirdness 24

Play Along at Wednesday Weirdness

1.) Do you think you’re approachable?
Yeah… I think so… I doubt anyone wants to approach me…

2.) Out of the two, would you rather be able to predict things before they happened or be able to read minds whenever you wanted to? Why?
Oh man… I wish I could predict how I’m gonna answer this question… I’d say the ability to read minds… Then I could find out what people really think of me… I’m kinda paranoid

3.) Have you ever kissed, fooled around or slept with an ex significant other AFTER you were already broken up?
lol… I didn’t even get to sleep with girlfriends while we were dating, let alone after they came to their senses and dumped me

4.) Do you believe dreams are your imagination running wild as you sleep, your subconscious showing you what’s really on your mind or something else entirely?
Mine are wild… I don’t think i have giant monkeys chasing me around with knives in my high school gym on my mind

5.) How often do you use cuss words? Does your use of cuss words vary on your moods or situations?
I’ve never swore in my life… lie… i swear like a sailor… or a pirate…

6.) Do you ever purposely lead people on so you can get what you want?
Negative… or is that what I want you to believe

7.) When was the last time you did something you told yourself you wouldn’t do? What was it?
um… get crushes on certain people… took all of two seconds to not do that…

8.) If you could meet one musician who is no longer alive, who would it be?
Dave Williams former lead singer of drowning pool… one of, if not my favorite, vocalists of all time

TMI Tuesday: Buck-Fitty

1. When was the last time someone hit on you? What went down? Wait… The last time? I’m still waiting for the first time… I’m missing the part of my brain that tells me that a girl is hitting on me, or flirting with me… So it could actually happen all the time… But damned if I knew… there are two most recent ones that I kinda figured out later that it happened
In person ~ It was while I lived in Indiana (if it wasn’t with Rebecca (wishful thinking maybe) It was with an asain girl that was 2 or 3 years ahead of me in High School and happened to go to IUP while I was living there. She was basically telling me how much of a slut she was (worded differently)… I have a huge thing for asian girls (minus Tila Tequila, that dwarf, taiwanese lady boy hooker) so I probably sounded like a dork at the time… but its better than blurting out “Gosh golly gee, I’d love to have intercourse with your vagina!”
Online ~ Maybe Nicole (very wishful thinking) but if I’m totally misreading everything she says (very possible) then it was probably that lesbian from PoF… Yeah, a lesbian wanted to date me, not sure if thats good or bad… I’m either so manly that i can attract lesbians, or so not manly that lesbians are like “megh, close enough”… either way, dating a lesbian is a ton of pressure for a guy… Lesbians and chubby chicks apparently love me… I could be the worlds most accomplished fat chick thriller ever, if I wanted to…

2. If you were single and could be with any one person, who would it be (thinking singer/actor or someone famous here, but whatever)? Cristina Scabbia, no question about it… I’d be in an ever-lasting orgasm with Cristina Scabbia… like one of those gobstoppers… but you know, a gobstopper with my penis in Cristina’s vajunk… you know what, nevermind the gobstopper… don’t need an ever lasting ball of sugar stealing my glory… A gobstopper would totally last longer in Scabbia’s vagoose than I would… In fact… I’d pass out due to unstoppable orgasmic pleasure by just being within 30 feet of her vajoojoo… Cristina Scabbia or Shandi Finnessey… and/or Vikki Blows… can they make all three in one? With like, stem cells or something?

3. Have you ever had done anything sexual in your office or your place of employment? My place of employment is rather crowded all the time, due to different shifts and break times… So theres no way to do it… Not that I hate my coworkers enough to want to make them suffer due to seeing my nudity… I keep my nudity under wraps… also, finding a willing partner would also be a rather difficult part… or most difficult part…

4. Do you apologize when you make a mistake? How do you react when someone calls you out? Yeah… I have no problem swollowing my pride… but I like being smarter than I look (and act at times)… throws people off… it makes for good timse… whoops, typo… see… I admitted my mistake and reacted reasonably…. You’re welcome…

5. Top or bottom? I wear both shirts and pants… You, again, are welcome…

Bonus (as in optional): Bonus: How old were you when you first had a willing sexual experience? Um… anything sexual? If we’re talking masturbation, then like, 12… if we’re talking about with a partner that new what she was getting herself into, then, I think I was 16 (hand job) or 17…. again, I have no idea how to tell if a girl is into me, (I don’t get things like that) so I’m sure i missed a few opportunities…

Consecutive Lonely Weekend #168: Enter Confusion

Another lonely weekend on its way and saturday morning I was wondering if I’d have any highlights to write about. And apparently I do.

The closest thing I have to a friend, or maybe I should say ex-closest thing I had to a friend, apparently hates me and I have no idea why.

She IMed me saturday with “ohhhh shit” so immediately I think she found out bad news from her doctor, or is in a fight with her room mate, or something really bad happened. And as I usually do with my friends, I begin to worry, until she tells me that you get into a Chiodos (her favorite band) show for free if you send them a pic of your Chiodos tattoo. I breathe a sigh of relief knowing that is not life threatening news. I’m about to ask her if she ever got that chiodos quote tattoo she said she wanted, she mentions that she gets paid on friday. I figure thats her way of saying “I’m getting my tattoo after I get paid on friday.” I have nothing really relevent to add to her last comment. I know she loves Chiodos/Craig Owens, I know she’s been talking about getting a Chiodos tattoo, I even know where she wants the tattoo. Hence, I’m sure she’ll send the pick of the tattoo to Chiodos, hence, getting into a future Chiodos show for free. So, instead of saying nothing which might imply that I don’t give a shit about her getting a tattoo or seeing chiodos, I just say “OK.”

And those two little letters apparently pissed her the fuck off…

She called me an asshole at least twice, said that I purposely make her feel like shit all the time, and that I never care about what happens in her life.

Enter confusion.

So I’m here, trying to figure out what the hell I did. All this just because I said “OK”? Maybe I should have asked her to describe the tattoo she’s getting again, even though I already know about it, and it’d be a waste of time for her to explain it to me again.

So, very concerned that she’s angry with me, I ask her how I’ve made her feel like shit. She repeats the fact that when she says something I don’t care care about it, which is untrue, I’ve always found her fascinating. So I ask her for a specific example of when and what she said and what I said, or didn’t say, that made her feel like that, but she just repeated that everything I say, every single day, I make her feel like shit. No specific examples, however. If, and its a big if, I did say something to her that made her feel like shit, it wasn’t my intent, it’s very possible she misunderstood me. But everything I say makes her think I don’t care about her? I find that hard to believe.

So I compiled a list of things that she might mean, In my still confused state these seem like viable examples to times where I’ve said or done something that made her feel like shit.

1. The time she got to go to an amusement park and camping for her birthday, and I left a comment on her myspace saying “I hope you’re having fun on your birthday, you deserve it.” I totally understand how selfish and assholic that comment is.

2. When she told me she was gonna die during surgery, and I waited by the phone for hours until her mom called after her surgery, and said that she was OK, and the immense relief I felt, how I basically jumped around the room, incredibly happy that she was OK and nearly started crying because I was so happy she was still alive. That was also the sign of a major asshole.

3. The times I go out of my way just to make her laugh, even if I gotta make fun of myself, and usually failing miserably. Muchos Asshole.

4. The numerous times I told her how beautiful, strong, smart, and overall amazing I think she is. Perfect asshole characteristics.

5. When she went to the warped tour and got her chance to meet Chiodos/Craig Owens I sent her a myspace comment saying “I hope you have fun today.” and later on, after she said she was moments away from the best moment of her life, I left a comment that said “I’m glad to hear that you’re happy” (Not to mention the numerous times that I’ve been glad that she had fun doing something or going somewhere). Only assholes get happy when they hear that their friends are happy.

6. All the times I felt bad that I couldn’t do anything to help her health, or be there to do stuff with her, and expressed my sadness due to helplessness. A nice person wouldn’t do that, only an asshole.

7. The times I try to talk her out of hurting herself. Most nice guys would just let her do it.

8. The 4 or 5 times, if not more, that I get all excited about her coming here to hang out, and she doesn’t make it here, but I’m just as excited, if not more, the next time. Starts with an “A” ends with a “sshole.”

9. That fact that I always try to learn everything I can about her. Assholey.

10. The uncountable times we playfully argueed over who loved who more. Most assholes would try to prove how much they love a girl, hence, I’m an asshole.

So yeah, I guess I can understand that she thinks I’m the world’s biggest asshole.

TMI Tuesday #143: School Days Edition

1. What were you known as in HS (Jock, Princess, Geek): GASD didn’t really have a lot of different groups. I’d say I was a floater. I had friends from each group, I had the Wood Shop/Gear head/grease monkey friends, a few friends from the “popular kids” group, a few friends from the jocks, some from the dorks, some from pretty much each category, even the Galeton-only group known as the Pig turds lol. I wasn’t so much of a chameleon because I didn’t fit into lots of groups, but had friends from lots of groups.
2. What were you really?: Um… didn’t I answer that?
3. If you could go back and tell your 16 year old self one thing, what would it be?: Get out of Galeton!! Never come back!!
4. If you could erase one moment from your school days what would it be?: Lets see…. there was the opened fly incident… boxers have flaps in the front, some have buttons to close those flaps some don’t, the ones I wore didn’t. So one day I wore jeans that had something wrong with the zipper, it wouldn’t stay up. Everything was ok until gym class, after I got rechanged into my regular clothes the zipper wouldn’t stay up for more than 5 or 6 steps. So needless to say, open zipper, open boxer flap, peenor visible to all. Where’s my time eraser for that?
5. Who did you not date (or more) that you wish you did?: Oh man… I could write a list a mile long. There was Erin, Sarah… ok… thats all I can think of, but theres more I’m sure…

Bonus (as in optional): If you went to prom, describe your outfit.: I went through high school unprommed

Extra Virgin Olive Oil

As I mentioned on this blog, I am a virgin. Not just any virgin, but I’m a virgin to pretty much everything. It sucks, but not for the reasons you may think.

sure, I’m a guy, which means I’m required to be horny all the time, even more so because i haven’t had sex (or much else). But I’m not bummed about being a virgin just because I haven’t had sex.

Its more because I’ve never had anyone who loved me enough to even think about getting intimate with me, that’s what bothers me the most.

My first girlfriend, TM, never really talked to me very much. I’d have to go out of my way and make myself completely uncomfortable just to have a 10 second conversation with her.

Girlfriend #2, and so far my only other girlfriend ever, RW and I talked to each other rather well, she’d actually come talk to me without me initiating the convo, which was something I was not used to at all. But me and her rarely got intimate, and then she cheated on me, yet I never got a reason why.

Thus, I’ve never had anyone that really liked me all that much. I was a reason to write notes to one, and a glorified friend to another. I’ve never had anyone, girlfried or not, who ever made me feel important.

Just some talk

I absolutely love watching/listening to women talk. I don’t know what it is, but there’s just something amazing about it if you ask me. They don’t do anything special, like balance a chair while they talk. But there is just something beautiful and serene about listening to them talk about their day/lives/jobs/whatever. Sounds strange, I know, I guess its just one of my quirks.

My First(ish) Girlfriend(ish)

When I was in 3rd or 4th grade the cool thing was sending girls you liked love notes. You know, the girls without cooties. So I wrote a note, some stupid, poetic note that compared the girl’s eyes to oceans. The kinda stuff that sounded good when you’re 8 or 9 but seems intensly corny nowadays. So I wrote it and the class was sitting in a 4 or 5 row semicircle for some kind of story time crapola. The girl who was supposed to get the note was two rows ahead of me, even though I tired to sit right next to her.

So I handed the note to MC (b) to give to the girl I liked, RS (b), and specifically told her to pass it forward. Buuut, she opened it and read it to herself, and since i didn’t write anyone’s name on it she thought it was for her.

She was pretty happy that I liked her, and I couldn’t hurt her feelings by telling her “No, its for her, not you!”

So MC (b) was basically my first girlfriend. We didn’t really do much because she wasn’t really the girl I liked in the first place. But it turned out good, me and my friends needed someone to pretend they were April O’Neil when we played “Ninja Turtles” during recess.

My 7 Biggest Crushes of All Time

In initial form

1. NM
2. RS (a)
3. MC (a)
4. TS
5. EF
6. SS
7. TM